Derek doesn’t notice he’s doing it at first. He makes a habit of picking up the pack’s mannerisms, after all – it’s not that unusual that he knows Stiles doesn’t like anchovies but will fight Boyd to get to a pizza with double pepperoni. What is unusual is that Derek makes sure to order double pepperoni on everything.
But whatever, right? They’re american. Pepperoni is what they do.
The Jstor subscription charged to Derek’s credit card is slightly harder to explain. When he signs up, he tells himself it’s for the pack. Research is key, after all. And okay, so Stiles ends up being the only one with the login details - that’s just because he does the lions share of the research. It has nothing at all to do with him taking on a double load of subjects at college.
And, okay, the curly fries Derek makes sure to grab before picking Stiles up for stakeouts are maybe a little damning, but it’s not his fault that Stiles talks less if his mouth is occupied and- and…
Derek swears, staring in horror at the curly fries in the passenger seat. They may as well be glittering in a small velvet box for all his heart is suddenly trying to beat out of his chest.
Holy fuck, he’s wooing Stiles.
Holy fuck, he’s wooing Stiles with curly fries.
"Oh my god," Stiles says, yanking the passenger side door open to grab at the food. "You are my hero.”
Derek watches, dumbstruck, as Stiles slouches into the seat and rips into the fries like he hasn’t seen food in a week. Crumbs fly everywhere. Stiles grunts like he’s on the discovery channel. It’s really, really disgusting.
"I think I’m in love with you."
Stiles’ head snaps around so hard, a fry actually launches from his lips to land in Derek’s lap. Derek picks it up and eats it with numb horror.
"Um," Stiles says.
Derek closes his eyes and wishes very hard for a natural disaster. Or even a supernatural one. Sudden plague of land-based black holes. He could work with that.
Derek takes a breath. “You don’t have to-“
He doesn’t get any further, because there are suddenly long-fingered hands either side of his face and a warm mouth on his and- oh.
Stiles tastes like salt and peppermint – likely the gum he has a half packet of in his hoodie pocket. The same pocket Derek uses as leverage to yank Stiles over into his lap.
The curly fries are stone cold by the time they get to them.
"Who is he?"
"Him? That’s Derek Hale. And you better forget about him. He doesn’t date."
Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
Behind the Scenes of “All About That Bass” +
How are skinny girls supposed to feel love when your song is about loving only fat bodies?
I’m sorry, but how are fat girls supposed to feel when every advertisement, be it on television or in a magazine, when nearly every movie, shows only thin women? I am completely against body shaming, but the fact remains that there is very little positive representation for bigger girls. Thin women are considered the norm and are far more accepted and you see them everywhere you look in the media. So please, don’t take this the wrong way, but please just let me have a song that makes me, for once, feel good about my body.
ive also noticed that people always focus on one particular line of this song which apparently makes it “skinny shaming”
but nobody ever acknowledges the following lines?
the main theme of the song is giving love to larger women because larger women are so commonly shamed for their bodies, ignored by the media and generally given less love and acceptance than thinner women, but the song in its entirety is a message that all women are beautiful. People are failing to acknowledge that
I need a part 2 to this
imagine ur otp
the forehead touch
now imagine ur otp doing the forehead touch
as one of them dies in the other’s arms
take that somewhere else
A relationship is like a house
If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.
Unless that house is a lying whore
Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.
This took the best possible turn.